Thursday, September 24, 2009

Top Chef Las Vegas: The Season of Unlikable Contestants


Mike (not cool brother Mike) Isabella from Top Chef: Las Vegas

This asshole with his faux hawk and dumb smirk talks shit about the other contestants every week. Oh, how cool are you Mike? You say fuck and shit in your confessionals. How edgy? You show them, Mike. Do your shitty tattoos and smack talk get ladies?

Meanwhile, as he talks shit about contestants every week and their lack of skills, he shows his one skill: Greek cooking. How fucking ironic, buddy. You make kebabs, couscous, "greek salads" every week and rode the coattails of straight-laced brother to a top finish one week. Yet you think you're the Top Chef. You've shown the same cooking range as the guy who fries my falafel at Oasis Cafe.

And hey: FLORENTINE = FLORENCE FUCKING ITALY, YOU DUMB FUCK.

Which brings me to my other "thing I hate". It's you, Eli Kirstein.



You and your fucking horn-rimmed glasses talk a lot of shit every week, too. You also have absurdly spiked hair. Congrats. You are a chef at a restaurant in Atlanta and you're 25. I'm sure you're unequivocally the best chef ever.

Oh, way to be a dick, too, and call Robin out for giving a back story to her dish. I'm sure she loved having cancer and possibly dying because she thought, "Hey I can use it to my advantage on a reality show someday!"

When you get Type II diabetes someday will you think that way? That double chin of yours isn't without any repercussions.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Bottomless Grub: Bayless FTW


I locked out on Top Chef: Masters for 95% of its original run. I was shocked that Bravo re-aired it the other weekend, but I finally watched and got hooked.

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Monday, June 22, 2009

Bacon! Pleasecanihavebacon


How many people watched J&K+8 tonight? Is it possible that more than 16,000,000 watched---which was the average Idol household audience?

It's not everyday you get to see the home video that will result in eight children wanting to rebel against their parents in their teenage years.

I think the winner here has to be Jon. He's got the earrings, the Ed Hardy, the Bluetooth head set...he's ready to drink some Jager and lure ladies to his west side apartment.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Monday, June 15, 2009

"I realized that CT isn't the guy I should be with."


-Diem c. sometime in the finale episode

Really, Diem? It took CT almost mauling a 160 lb. dude--like how a tiger destroys its prey--in a reality competition for you to realize that CT is not the guy who you should spend the rest of your life with?

Career first. Career first.